How it works, in full.
This page explains everything that happens from the moment you register to the moment two families are introduced - what we ask you for, who sees it, and where we stop.
If anything here isn't clear, ask us before you register. It's a fair question and we'd rather answer it.
What this is
Khitbah is an introduction service for the khitbah stage - the proposal, before nikah. It exists because finding someone through respectable means has become genuinely hard, and because rounds of introductions that go nowhere wear people down.
It is not a dating app and it is not a place to browse people. There is nothing to scroll. Every introduction is proposed by a person who has read both profiles.
What this is not
- There are no photographs, at any stage, ever.
- There is no gallery, no search, and no list of members anywhere.
- Nobody can message you. There is no inbox and no way for a stranger to reach you.
- Nothing about you is public, and nothing is shown to anyone without your agreement first.
Step by step
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You register
A form, about fifteen minutes. It asks who you are, your background, how you'd describe yourself, and what you're looking for in a spouse. Write the open questions properly - they're the part people actually read.
You can register for yourself, or a family member can register on your behalf. If someone registers for you, we confirm with you before anything goes further.
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We confirm with your family
You give us the name and number of your wali or a family member. We send them one message with a link. They tap it and confirm they know you've registered and that you're currently unmarried.
Until they do, your profile is inactive and is not considered for anyone.
We don't ask for ID documents or copies of anything. A family member confirming you is a stronger check than a document, and it doesn't put your papers in a stranger's hands.
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Your profile sits with us
Nothing is published. Your profile is read by the small number of people who run this service and by nobody else. Your name and phone number are stored apart from the rest and are not visible even to everyone on our side.
There is no notification when someone looks at your profile, because nobody can look at your profile.
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We propose someone
When we think two people suit each other, we send each of you a private link. It opens a page showing the other person's age, area, marital status, work, education, background, and what they've written about themselves.
It does not show their name, their photograph, or their contact details. Yours is shown to them in exactly the same way, at the same time.
The link is only for you. It expires, and it stops working the moment the introduction is closed.
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You each answer privately
There's a yes and a no at the bottom of the page. You press one.
If either of you says no, it ends there. Neither of you is told what the other answered, and no reason is passed on. Nobody is embarrassed.
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You ask questions
If you both said yes, you can each send the other a few questions - the things you'd want to know before a family sits in a lounge. Living arrangements, work after marriage, expectations, deen, whatever matters to you.
Everything passes through us in both directions and is read before it's sent on. There is no direct messaging at any point. You can decline to answer anything.
This is the part that saves everyone time. Most introductions fail on something that could have been asked in five questions.
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The families are introduced
If both of you still want to go ahead, we share names and numbers with both families and introduce them.
Then we step out. What happens after that is between the two families, as it should be.
What we hold, and for how long
We store what you put in the form, your contact number, and your family contact's name and number. That's all. No documents, no photographs, no copies of anything.
Your name and number are kept separately from your profile so that most of the people helping run this never see who you are.
You can pause your profile at any time, or ask us to remove it entirely. If you ask us to remove it, we delete it.
What we ask of you. If we send you someone's profile, it's for you and your immediate family to consider - not to forward, screenshot, or discuss with friends. If the introduction doesn't go ahead, delete anything you saved.
We take this seriously. Someone trusted us with their details, the same way you're about to.
Questions people ask
Who can register?
Anyone looking to marry - single, divorced or widowed, with or without children. You need to be eighteen or older.
Why no photographs?
Because a photograph is the thing that gets forwarded. Once it leaves our hands we can't control where it goes, and no confidentiality clause changes that. If both families agree to an introduction, photographs are their business, not ours.
Can I see who else has registered?
No, and neither can anyone else. If profiles could be browsed, they would circulate. That's the trade: you don't get to look, and nobody gets to look at you.
How long will it take?
We don't know, and anyone who promises otherwise isn't being straight with you. It depends on who has registered and whether anyone genuinely suits you. We would rather send you nothing than send you someone unsuitable to look busy.
What if I know the person you propose?
Tell us and we'll close it immediately. You can also give us names to rule out in advance - relatives, or people you've already been introduced to.
Can my family handle this instead of me?
Yes. Many people would rather their father or brother deal with us. Tell us and we'll correspond with them.
What if I change my mind?
Pause or withdraw whenever you want. You don't owe anyone an explanation.
Who runs this?
A small number of people, and it's deliberately small. Women's registrations are handled by a woman where that matters to you - say so and we'll arrange it.
If that sounds right, the form takes about fifteen minutes.
Rather ask something first? Message us on WhatsApp or salaam@khitbah.co.za.